My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
