if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
