never play flip cup with pint glasses
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You ate ashes out of my bong
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
