I just made out with a guy for $7.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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