how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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