Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Welp...herpes.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
