three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
