He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
