Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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