I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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