I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
