You really coming over, don't trick.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This can only be settled by a dance off.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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