stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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