I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
