Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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