I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
