If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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