Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
