So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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