Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
