end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
