he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
