belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
