And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
