im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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