I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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