Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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