Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
