Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
