so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
