Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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