My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
