In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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