yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
