In the future we'll all be gay
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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