Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
