Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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