Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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