there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
