You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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