I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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