STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
