fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
