Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize