I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
