google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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