i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We need a shit load of segways right now
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
