How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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