Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
