ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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