dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i think i have herpe
just one?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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